WASHINGTON, D.C. (LNN) —A routine parking citation issued Tuesday to a Ford Taurus parked eleven minutes past the meter has triggered the gravest constitutional crisis in the nation's history, legal scholars said Thursday, as all three branches of the federal government declared themselves the sole authority empowered to adjudicate the thirty-five-dollar fine.

The citation, No. 447192-B, was issued by a municipal parking enforcement officer who has since been placed under armed protection. Within hours, the matter had been escalated to the Supreme Court, the floor of both chambers of Congress, and the Oval Office, each of which asserted exclusive jurisdiction and refused to recognize the others.

"The Framers did not anticipate the expired meter," said a constitutional historian speaking from a secure location. "There is no provision. There is a silence in the document where the meter should be, and into that silence the republic is now falling."

The Supreme Court recessed indefinitely Wednesday after the justices deadlocked on whether the eleven minutes constituted a federal question. The Speaker of the House convened an emergency floor session that dissolved into a physical standoff over the ticket's chain of custody, which is currently sealed in an evidence locker guarded by the National Guard.

The motorist, identified in filings only as "the Registered Owner," has declined to pay the fine, citing the ongoing dispute over which sovereign body is entitled to receive the thirty-five dollars. Officials warn that a wrong payment could itself constitute an unconstitutional act.

Analysts drew comparisons to the founding Balloongate incident, noting that both crises began with an ordinary consumer transaction and ended with the collapse of a fundamental institution. "We keep learning the same lesson," one said. "There are no small things. There have never been any small things."

The meter, still expired, remains under twenty-four-hour surveillance. The nation holds its breath. This is a developing story.